It's Hopeless....

I came to know about the blasts at Data Darbar at about 4:30 in the morning. My reaction then was normal and remained so till late afternoon. Then when I was driving back home from Gulberg, around 6, something hit me. I am not sure if I was crying or not, I think I wasn't but I don't know for sure. For I was driving and was thinking and image after image passed my eyes. It was not the feeling of sadness or disappointment or anger. It was sheer nostalgia. And with the nostalgia came the hopelessness.

I have been given a Muslim upbringing with a strong sufi flair. The family I have been raised in had strong sufi inclinations and central to, it like any such family in Lahore, was the shrine of Ali Hajveri. I remember going to the shrine with my grandmothers, my mother, my cousins, my aunts, my uncles. Going there during day, at night and even at midnight. I remember the place from the days when it was painted in pink and had congested halls for males and females and didn't have the new mosque complex. I remember the days I would walk on the marble floor of the compound barefoot and will eat free sweet-balls being distributed there. Since my school was just next to the compound, the bunk from school would lead to the food stalls and audio shops around the compound where one could listen to the music full of drumbeat and could eat all sorts of exotic fried foods.

In 1980s on frequent Thursday nights, Zia Ul Haq would make unannounced appearances at the shrine where he was greeted by the then emerging core constituency of his, which I call Muslim League (Data Sahab Group). It was a bunch of influential bureaucrats, judges, businessmen, politicians of the city with strong anti-PPP and pro-Islam leaning, all devout Barelvis and followers of the shrine. In someways, the blasts of last night is ironical for it hit the very place from where the Ziaisation of the society began which culminated in the mayhem we are all in. Had it not been for the support of those strong quarters, Zia would not have succeeded and neither would have his experiment of Islamization.

So when the whole event of last night sunk in me, it brought to me the memory of the times when we had peace and festivity. We did not have Taliban, suicide blasts, an electronic media that has turned us into a extreme cynics and above all we did not have this sense of insecurity and uncertainty. And crept in nostalgia and with it, as I mentioned earlier, a feeling of hopelessness.

I have always prided myself in being an optimist, the one who always tries to find a way out of the worst. But now, I am hopeless. Leave aside the political leadership, which even, at the best, succeeds in stopping the decay, could not save everything from crumbling as a result of the decay that has already been, for our problems are not political. At the core lies an even bigger issue with the society and the individual. I see no hope of things getting better for our society has its thought-process hinged on inaction. If you are a liberal, you would blow the Noam Chomskey trumpet that everything that is wrong is wrong with the US and so it is US that should correct itself and we need to do nothing. And then these liberals have their own axes to grind. The bulk of liberals in this country are not liberal at the core and would become irrational if anything linked to the core of the religion or their sect or their beliefs gets questioned. I was shocked at the reaction of majority of Shias (whom I consider next in line if this madness continues) on the massacre of Ahmadis. The Shias, and above all the ones claiming themselves liberals, turned out to be the strongest voices justifying Anti-Ahmadi legislations of 70s and 80s.

If you are a peaceful religulous, you would be waiting for some Messiah or Mehdi, some Khomeini who would rise from nowhere and will heal all ills. And if you are a fanatic religulous, you would think that the cure to all ills is implementing a strict interpretation of Sharia and then everything will fall into place. How Sharia or Messiah will make our GDP grow, or make us, the lazy rent-eaters, productive is just beyond me. Or how will they correct the ills that are ours, our ethical shortcomings, our lack of direction, our lack of confidence and intellect? It's as if we have mastered the art of crafting excuses and then sticking to them. With all this sense of inaction on all sides, I wish we were like Jews. Small in numbers, persecuted badly, risking extinction but knowing fully the nature of the threat we face and focusing on how to deal with it.

I am hopeless also for against this menace that we face, the only line of defense, our security agencies, are infiltrated heavily with those sympathizing with these violent extremists. In recent days I happened to listen to first hand accounts of two Majors of Pakistan Army. First one being posted to South Waziristan was of the view that he is going there to fight Americans and not Taliban and it is Americans who are the real evils. The second one said that if posted to Waziristan, he would resign rather than fight his own brethren. If someone has an idea of Armed Forces of Pakistan, these are not the minority views, but the views shared by the mainstream. And with a thought process like this, how could one expect the Army to take a decisive action against these mercenaries of death. And if political or military leadership decides to move decisively against the radicals, wouldn't the men with such feelings dominating the armed forces and holding the most fierce firepower, topple that leadership?

We blame US, we blame India, we blame Taliban, we blame the opposite sects, we blame politicians. We say no Muslim can kill another Muslim and cannot attack a shrine or mosque, we deny it when the reality faces us in our eyes. We await Messiah, we await West to correct its course. We blame, we say, we deny, we await, and yet the violence and volatility is increasing with the religion at the very core of it. May be we should think of a solution that cleanses the well for real - a solution that might stem from challenging the very basics.

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